Embracing The New

Title: Embracing the New
Rating: PG-13
Author: Sxymami0909
Fandom: Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Caroline-Centric Implied Matt/Caroline
Word Count: 690
Prompt: “A story about Caroline.” written for Starry_Dawn’s birthday

“I thought you said no more drama.”

“Well I lied.”

“Just forget it…just forget all of it.”

“So what are you like…breaking up with me?”

“Yeah…yeah I guess that’s what I’m doing…”

Their conversation played through Caroline’s head again as she watched Matt go, his back to her as he made his way out of the grill, not once turning back. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes briefly before slowly turning and gripping the edge of the table, knuckles white as she gently lowered herself into the seat.

She could feel the pressure building in her chest. Dead or alive, heartbeat or no heartbeat, she could feel it breaking, a vice gripping her heart and squeezing. Caroline had always been out going and flirtatious. She’d had a ton of boyfriends before…but none who ever really knew her…until Matt.

No one else had taken the time to get to know the person she was. She guessed they hadn’t cared, but Matt…he’d been the first guy to actually care about her for the person she was and not her body. He didn’t just see the ditzy, party girl, or the uber bitch that she pretended to be.

He saw the real Caroline. He saw the scared insecure girl who was just looking for a place to fit in and for someone to love her for the person she was and not the person everyone wanted her to be.

Matt saw the loyal friend in her, the young woman willing to do anything for the people she cared about. He understood why it had been so hard on her when her Dad left and how difficult her relationship with her Mother was…how no matter what she did, nothing ever felt good enough. She never felt good enough.

He had witnessed every one of her bad qualities and still he stayed with her…loved her and he’d never know how much that meant to her. But because she loved him more than she’d ever loved anything or anyone, Caroline had to do the right thing. For once she couldn’t be selfish.

She had to let him go…what she was now…what she was involved in…it could hurt him. And she wasn’t like Stefan or Elena…she couldn’t take that risk with Matt’s life. She loved him too much for that.

Caroline didn’t want him to go especially not now when she was hurt and confused and needed him the most, but she’d never be able to live with herself if she hurt him by accident again the way she had tonight. She’d rather live with the pain swimming inside of her, then have Matt hurt or worse dead because of her.

She leaned forward, palms flat against her thighs as people went about their lives around her. Heartbeats beating…girls whispering secrets to their boyfriends…husbands and wives having a quiet evening without the kids…quiet laughter at pool and fake ID’s that actually worked…

Life went on while she sat there a burning sensation in her eyes, tears building until everything around her was a blur. She’d never be able to truly have this kind of normal life again. She’d never walk in the sun without her ‘special’ ring, or see people and not hear the thrumming of their pulse under their skin. She’d never age or get married and have kids…Caroline swallowed hard, her hand reaching up to brush the tears from her cheek.

She needed a minute…just a minute to mourn for the loss of the person she had been so she could accept the person she was and move forward. She closed her eyes, honing her senses like Stefan had shown her, blocking everything and everyone out.

Caroline inhaled deeply, calming the raging emotions inside of her before slowly opening her eyes and glancing around her, tears now dried. She pushed the breath from her lungs, not that she needed to and stood from the chair in one smooth movement.

Caroline gave the Grill one last once over before moving forward towards the exit, heart heavy with uncertainty as she left her old life behind her and embraced the new one that was unfolding before her.